The Road Back to Julie: October 2015

When in doubt, build a blanket fort!

Driving into work this morning took a tremendous amount of effort on my part. I actually woke up early (shocking, I know) and showered. I was about to get ready, but then... "Oh, I'll just lay down for a second. Hmmm.... what's happening online? I have plenty of time." Facebook... Twitter... and YouTube later. "It's what time?!?! *insert expletive here*

My workplace... I mean... ummm... The Eye of Sauron

from Lord of the Rings

I hurried and put on my blue jumpsuit (Yes, I have to wear a jumpsuit. STOP LAUGHING! It keeps me from burning alive in worse case scenario. Actually, worse case scenario would be something blowing up... or being gassed to death... or... I'll just stop there.) and drove in on a foggy, humid as heck, blech morning, the flare stacks of the plant hanging in the sky like the Eye of Sauron.

Yeah, I compared my workplace to Sauron. Your point?

(Side note: My job here is actually pretty cool and I have been enjoying myself while I have been here. In fact, I've been enjoying it much more than I expected.)

Either way, I got there on time.. just with wet hair. And no, I did not forgo my coffee. I have my priorities!

But I digress. You see, I've had a rough few days on the co-op/internship application front.

But it's okay. I can handle this.

I can.

Here's the thing. I think I have mentioned before that I went back to school to get an engineering degree. Fantastic! I want to stay in aerospace because that is what I love. Here's the problem. In order to get a job in aerospace, you have to get a co-op or internship in aerospace.

And I can't seem to get a co-op with an aerospace company to save my life.

The rejections I have received so far states the standard, "You were not found to be among the highly qualified candidates for this position."

I'm not highly qualified? Let's take a look at it shall we? I am working on my third degree, the first two being a bachelor's in chemistry, and a PhD in chemistry/planetary science. I followed that with a post-doc at NASA, I was a professor, and then went back to school to work on a masters in mechanical engineering and have been kicking ass at it since then.

But yeah. I can see how they would pick someone with half of my academic courses and none of my experience over me.

Not that I'm bitter or anything.

(Just in case you don't know me. That was sarcasm.)

But I can deal with this. Right? Okay. I need a game plan. Time to do what anyone does in a situation like this.

I built a blanket fort!

Systems check:
Cabin shock-absorbing padding: Check

General purpose computer: Check

Life support systems: All systems nominal
Wine provisions: In storage. Can be used in case of emergency.
Chocolate provisions: No-go, but we are still clear for blanket fort interface.

Now that I have my blanket fort, it is time to make a game plan.

Keep working out. I always do better mentally when I'm physically active so this is a priority.
Look into professional certifications in computer modeling/analysis. This is my weakest link and might not be a big deal, but it would be nice to have on the resume. Plus, I would be confident in my abilities.
Continue talking to my professors and trying to talk to people in the industry about things I can do to make me more marketable. I usually get the same thing. "You are doing exactly what you should be." Problem is: IT ISN'T WORKING.
Apply for every freaking thing I can!!

I'm trying hard to stay positive. And when I say 'trying hard', I really do mean it is hard right now. As long as I have a game plan, I feel good. The good thing is that I haven't resorted to altering my cover letter to say, "I'm sick of being passed over for some POS sophomore who has a tenth of my education and experience. What the hell people?!" If I ever hit rock bottom, that might seriously happen.

Let's hope I don't hit rock bottom.

Workout Achievements of the Week.
Monday: 69 minutes cardio, 1 weight session

Tuesday: 60 minutes cardio, N/A weight session
Wednesday: 89 minutes (??? According to my Fitbit.. but really?) N/A Weight session

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Workout gyms might possibly be where Satan lives...

Fitness 5:42 PM

Why do these people look happy?!?

Photo credit:

http://crossfit-wod.com/workout-for-gym/

"You have to go. You promised." I muttered to myself as I got closer and closer to the security gate, leaving work for the day. Yes, I was conversing with myself inside my head. What of it??

The turn-off to go to the company gym was within sight as I sat in my car, waiting in line to scan out of the workplace. The road was taunting me from the other side of the fence line, mocking me with it's mocking "Employee Physical Fitness Center" sign, and it's mocking bicep curls... well, if roads had biceps that could do bicep curls that is.

I had been paying the activity center fee for the last couple months, but have yet to even drive down the road past the treeline where the fitness center was poised to pounce on me as soon as I approached. Again, if inanimate objects could pounce. But if they could, I'm sure that it would!

I passed my badge over the scanner and heard the "BEEP BEEP BEEEEEP* announcing to the world that I was leaving for the day. As my car inched forward, I felt the need to just keep driving past. But I had set the goal for myself that I would weight train again at least 2 days this week. I was supposed to go last week, but Sloth Julie talked me out of it.

Me: "Okay. I have my workout clothes, I have water. On to the gym!"

Sloth Julie: "But it's been such a long day. Will you really have a good workout without getting some rest first?"

Me: "That's true. It has been a long day. But I said that I would go twice this week. Tuesday and Thursday."

Sloth Julie: "Yeah. But it's only TUESDAY. You have Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, even Sunday to do it. That's a lot of days."

Me: "Right, but wasn't I just saying to myself how much I missed being athletic and toned?"

Sloth Julie: "Sure. But you could do exercises at home. Remember how sore you were after you did that at-home Crossfit workout? That was good."

Me: "Yeah, that was good. But if I sit down, I won't get back up again."

Sloth Julie: "You won't sit down. I'll totally stay out of the way so you can do your exercises. Promise."

Sloth Julie lied.

Bitch.

So I'm back in the same spot, my car inching towards the fitness center turnoff. This time, I had duct taped Sloth Julie, put a sock in her mouth, and threw her in the trunk of my mind. But just like throwing a real person in the trunk of your car, you can still hear the muffled yelling and kicking.

I mean... not that I would know or anything. It's just what I've heard.

With a deep breath, I turned the car to go down the narrow lane, thankful that there isn't enough room on the road to do less than an 18-point u-turn. I know this seems melodramatic, but going to a new gym, a new gym that is guaranteed to be 100% men inside (big, burly, Texan men), it's intimidating.

I know what you are saying. "It isn't a big deal. Get over it." And yeah, when I was in shape and looked great, it wasn't a big deal. I could go into any gym and not get even a glance of pity. It was just accepted, "Of course she would be here. Look at her guns, she obviously knows how to work out." When you are fat, you get looks ranging from, "Awesome! Glad to see you here." to "You are so disgusting. I have to look at YOU while I work out? Geez, they let anyone in here these days."

And no, I'm not kidding. (So if you are at the gym, be the first person, not the asshole.)

I got to the "T" intersection at the end of the lane. I was pretty sure that I wasn't supposed to turn left into the clubhouse, so the only option was across a narrow bridge over a massive river..... and by massive river, I mean a stream that was only one foot wide. I took my chance and headed over the perilous bridge. (Okay, I might be exaggerating on the "perilous" part too. Work with me.)

As I crossed the massive expanse of the bridge (all of 10 whole feet!!!) .... AH HA!! I made it!

Not gonna lie, I was a little trepidatious as I pulled up to the building, labeled "Fitness Center." It wasn't glamorous or anything. Just a plane rectangular building with metal wall paneling in what used to be white, but now appeared to be a mossy, mildewy grey. There were no cars in the lot either (sweet!). This might not be as painful as I originally thought.

After checking my Facebook and Twitter one more time (Hey! Something really important might have happened.), I walked up to the building with my badge in one hand and my work out clothes in the other. I passed my badge over the reader, grabbed the door handle, and nothing. Still locked. I tried again. Nothing.

Sloth Julie: *muffled* "It's a sign!"
Me: "There's another door right there."

Tried the second door. Nothing.

Sloth Julie: *muffled* "See? If you were supposed to be here...."
Me: "Shut up."

There had to be another way in. As I turned the corner, I saw another door tucked in the back corner of the building. Passed my badge over the card reader.....

SUCCESS!!!

Sloth Julie: *still muffled* "Damnit."
Me: *snort*

The doors opened up directly onto a basketball court. On the long wall to my right were two weight rooms. Free weights, machines, treadmills, even an erg (rowing machine). Awesome.

On the one hand, it's really nice to have the place all to yourself. On the other hand, it's creepy as f***. The kind of creep that makes you jump when the door closes behind you. But! I wasn't alone for long.....

*cue creepy Halloween music*

JUST KIDDING! It was a really nice guy named Dave who welcomed me and asked me lots of questions about what I did at the plant. After a little bit, other people came in. I wasn't as comfortable with them so I hit the trail. AFTER having done an (albeit short) upper body workout and some time on the treadmill.

All in all, it was a good visit. And I'm pretty dang proud of myself to boot. YAY ME!

Question of the day: When you get off the treadmill/elliptical, and you have that kind of floating feeling, do you ever worry that you are going to fall flat on your face? :)

Workout Accomplishments This Week:

Monday: 69 minutes if cardio, 1 upper body/core workout (with a little bit of lower body) WOO!

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Slap me on the butt and call me Carnarvon.

Life Funnies 6:17 PM

Okay, so I'm not being choked by

a mummy. I guess that's good.

Image from: "The Mummy's Curse"

I'm beginning to think that I am cursed.

No really.

I'm cursed.

Let me give you a little background on me.

I'm a geek. No, really. I have credentials.

I have wanted to be involved in space exploration since I was 12. And my entire education/work experience has been geared towards this end. Here's were the geek certification comes in. I started out in chemistry, continued school and became a chemist/planetary scientist. I got to do a lot of cool stuff. (Although sometimes with not so cool people, but I may talk about that at a later date.)

Part of that cool stuff was getting to work on a nanosatellite. But I was on the science team. As it turns out, I was much more interested in what the engineers were doing.

Well, crap.

Do I have to go back to school now? I thought I was done!! Like... DONE done.

*sigh*

So I went back to school. And that's where I have been for the last couple of years. And it has been great. No really! I really like what I do and I find it really interesting. But as far as my career goes, I am now back to square one. And that, my friends, is terrifying.

To add to the already terrifying prospect of starting over, in order to be involved in space exploration, you have to be employed at an aerospace company or NASA. In order to get employed at said companies, you generally have to have a co-op or internship there.

Here comes the cursed part.

There have been a few positions that have been listed recently that I either have applied for or wanted to apply for. The kind of positions that make you all squidgy inside at the excitement at possibly working there.

Me on the outside: "Oh, where to I work?? Oh... you know.. *insert amazing aerospace company name here*. It's not big deal."
Me on the inside: "It's a HUGE deal! Can you believe I freaking work here?!?!? I mean, seriously. Dude. I do space stuff for a living!! They pay me to do space stuff. My life rocks."

The problem is, no matter what I do, there's always something that I have overlooked, something that gets thrown in the way where I trip on it, papers fly everywhere (I don't know why I have papers in hand, but it seems any time someone trips in a movie, they have a stack of papers), and I land smack dab right on my face.

Wrong graduation date? No worries! I'll push my graduation back. All in the name of getting experience.
Check! (But now missed deadline.)
Deemed ineligible because I'm not a student? .... Wait, what?? WHAT?!?! (See blog And the Winner for University Bureaucracy Award Goes To...) Frantic running around trying to fix a bureaucracy snafu. (Thank goodness for a great advisor who fixed a lot of it for me.)
Check! (But all of that had to be done before the close of the announcement - which wasn't done in time.)
Now that all of the above has taken care of, it should be smooooooooth sailing. Go to apply for a position that came open during the frantic running around during situation #2, one that I really wanted. REALLY wanted. Go to breeze through the application part of the process.

Wait. The job listing isn't there? Why isn't it there?!?! The deadline was October 22nd! *checks calendar, phone, fitbit watch* It's the 13th!! Why did the announcement get taken down?! I can't apply for that job either??

Okay. I'm trying not to think that the universe is telling me something. But it sure feels like it. Really, with this kind of luck, I should make sure that my apartment is well stocked with cat food. You know, in case I die in a freak accident like getting swallowed by my sofa couch and suffocating, leaving my eyeballs exposed for the dining enjoyment of my two cats. People say my kittehs wouldn't do that sort of thing. But if I'm late getting out of bed to feed them in the morning, I wake up to both of them sitting perilously close to my head, staring at my eyeballs.

Maybe I should sleep with goggles on....

Anyway, I think I need to de-curse myself of this affliction. Any ideas on how??

P.S. In case anyone is wondering, Lord Carnarvon was the man who financed the discovery of Tutankhamen's tomb. The legend goes that anyone who had a hand in opening the tomb was cursed and died shortly thereafter. Highly doubtful, but since I'm feeling cursed myself, I feel a sort of kinship. :)

P.P.S.
Workout Accomplishments This Week:
Monday: 70 min cardio, N/A Weight Training
Tuesday: Sat on my butt
Wednesday: 68 min cardio, N/A Weight Training (See future blog post)

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And the winner for the university bureaucracy run around award goes to..........

7:05 PM

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The Road Back to Julie

When in doubt, build a blanket fort!

Workout gyms might possibly be where Satan lives...

Slap me on the butt and call me Carnarvon.

And the winner for the university bureaucracy run around award goes to..........

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